Starting New

I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before.

We would have been legit perfect together. He liked me so much, I like him so much. I was a week late…7 days. Now he’s gone and I don’t know what to do. I like to ease my anxiety and devastation by telling myself that he’ll realize he misses me and come back to me early but deep down I know he won’t. I’ve been having a pity party for a little over a week now.

My goal is to forget as much as I can. Just leave him alone and focus on myself. Maybe somebody will come along and it’ll make him jealous. Or maybe he won’t care. I don’t know. Either way, I’m heartbroken.

Goddamn, this song is so relevant to my situation. 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbV6-3PlJAA

Well now he’s gone.

It’s just solidified the fact that nobody wants to be with me. I feel like shit all the time now. I can’t go anywhere we’ve been or I get emotional. Why the hell did this all happen so fast? 

Day 7: My birthday

Ha, my birthday. Well, let me give some background information first. On June 21st, NS found out & confronted me about cheating on him. This would have been our one month. He broke up with me two days later. My birthday was on June 27th. We had plans to go to the aquarium, so I told him I still wanted him to go. So, NS and EL went to the Baltimore Aquarium with me. It was at the aquarium where I put two and two together and found out that EL, my best friend of 5 years, was the one who told NS I had cheated on him. So my whole time at the aquarium was miserable. Then, after the aquarium, I went bowling with EF, YG, and AN. Then I went to EF’s house and we went swimming. That was when my birthday turned around into being awesome.

Day 6: Best friends

EF, EL, NS, SS, NR

<3 

Day 3/4/5 

I have many best days, miserable days, and memorable moments. I can’t pick on particular day out of 365 to define any of those accurately.

Day 2: Relationships

NS: Well, we talked from August ‘09 to May ‘10. We started dating May 21, 2010. Don’t tell me why I remember that date, I just do. I cheated on him. I regret it more than probably anything I’ve ever done. I know I will never get him or his trust back. It’s really hard to cope with sometimes.

EF: We never were in a physical, actual relationship. We started talking in May ‘10 and continue kissing, etc. I do really love you, I just like my options. You are my best friend. 

EN: We started talking on Halloween haha. You spark my interest, you make me nervous. Truth be told, you are a pretty bad kisser. With practice, I believe I can fix that ;) I wish that you actually wanted a relationship..

Day 1: A few things I will never forget in 2010.

I will never forget NS. Never. I’m still deciding whether or not I like him or the idea of him, but I won’t forget him. 

I also will never forget meeting EF and gaining new friends along with him. He was my best friend and from May to present I have spent 90% of my time with him. 

I’ll never forget how far my depression fell. 

I’ll never forget the little bit of confidence I have gained.

Day 1: A few things you will never forget in 2010.
Day 2: Relationship(s).
Day 3: The best day.
Day 4: The worst day. 
Day 5: The most memorable moment.
Day 6: Your best friend(s).
Day 7: Your birthday.
Day 8: The funnest getaway.
Day 9: The end of last school year/the beginning of this one.
Day 10: New Year resolutions.

My day was an octopus.

It’s time to be healthy and teach a lesson.

It’s fine to be hungry and not listen.